Equilibrium

As the days grow incessantly darker and the year draws its finish line, I find myself tired from 2009's events, as well as challenged by the complex thought processes that have passed my way recently.
It seems that the people who perform well generally are people who are enthused to keep a balance of all their interests and duties, combined with a consistent ability to push themselves in every sense. They also seem to have a strong rationale about them, but interestingly always seem to adapt their thoughts and actions to what's deemed as "appropriate" behavior in every situation.
The particular thought processes that have been cycling round in my head are that of the questionable force of rationalisation. The ability to defeat fear, maintain a fast progression rate and adapt in both spontaneous and long term situations are controlled by it - so it appears to be an extremely relevant and productive topic to me in Parkour and in general.

I don't see how I am incapable of pushing myself to do things that others can do, yet I think that it is important to never judge your progression against someone else's. This leads me to think I'm being hypocritical and I have a contradictive nature about my belief system. But then I realise we are all like this... and, again, it's those who can balance their analytical outlook on themselves with their self belief and appraisal that seem to benefit most from life.

There are many more thoughts as specific as the one above, with the same doubts arising from them - how can we be truly balanced in every sense so that it stays balanced. I remember, though, an article on handbalancing that began with an introduction about the concepts of physical equilibrium. It noted that things like chairs or tables have a static equilibrium (an ability to stay in one position at all times because of its static centre of gravity balanced against the earth) but that living mass such as our own bodies can become out of balance very easily, therefore need to be capable of coming back into balance. Everyone wobbles in a handstand, but successful handbalancers' have gained the ability to overbalance or underbalance according to the situation they might find themselves in - maintaining a state as close to equilibrium as possible.

In the same way, then, thoughts and beliefs my be perceived to be living matter which one must build the ability to balance in any given situation, throughout the course of time. You never stop learning.
By turning those mental matters into physical visualisations, maybe it is easier to picture the state of equilibrium (or lack of it) we are in at any point. For example, when you are angry, by deciding that the anger is not productive or rational but you can't seem to dispense with it, try imagining yourself on a bar. The bar represents the well-being of your life - all your aims and things you relate to having a good life are supporting it. There is no end to the rail, only yourself in this present state of balance on it. The anger, though, has you made lapsed your co-ordination and your foot has gone slightly too far off the centre of the bar. You are therefore struggling to keep on the bar, and if you look down there is much more chance you will fall off. So I'm told, the best way to stay on the bar is by remaining focused on the bar and by slowing down and relaxing - this way you're goal still lies on the rail, and you have not given up.

My point is that I have come to realise that even though I may become confused or even agressive towards myself in the future, I know it is important to remain focused on the goals I strongly desire (the bar) and not to be distracted by anyone else's bar or the ground, as it were. The bar is my path, my superobjective, and within it lies my potential and my purpose. So it is healthy to remain constantly open-minded and keep analysing myself in every way, but it's only healthy if it's balanced out with everything else surrounding me. Only then will I be able to achieve a bloated potential as well as develop my understanding of the world and myself.

Specifically, it is not healthy to monitor my progress against others, but I must accept the desire to do so as a flaw in human nature that I must work hard to keep my values balanced with. All the other thoughts of this manner can be rationlised in the same way, if seen as the "wind" that is limitless and unpredictable, challenging my balance as I try to maintain a state of equilibirum on the bar.

Balance = the ability to hold a position without wobbling.

But everybody wobbles.

Every day is a struggle, I think that being true to yourself should be the first thought of every day. Every day brings fresh situations that should be tackled with an eternally widening wisdom. Everything is progression.

2009 has certainly been a year to remember, and I foresee 2010 as being much better.

I can't wait to find out!

xx

Lollipops

You were stronger,
You knew better,
But somehow,
You lay down for your causes, but not for YOURSELF,

Things got hard
but we weren't to part
Captivated, scewered, my heart
Then you, left me, here on, my own

Don't leave, I'd scream, and you were gone.
Forgive yourself, and you'll be in

Peace, Peace, Peace.

Daydreaming

I've hit another tough barrier to break through - this time almost purely psychological.

Work has become a lot harder recently... I should be working harder and be more organised but I'm not responding well to the pressure of it all. But when I spend all day on something that could be finished in a few hours, and rarely even finish it then... unless I spend my time doing it into the early hours of the morning.

The problem is discipline.... which I find contradictory seeing as I train parkour to become mentally strong enough to apply myself to anything I need to do.
I think that being aware of a problem is the biggest thing, and like most things, pushing through it until something clicks seems to be the answer.

I hope it clicks soon though, because I certainly do not want to be exhausting myself and using my time inefficiently for much longer... especially seeing as my grades will slip as a result of it.

Work is very important to me, I just can't see it when I'm actually thinking about applying myself to an aspect of it. This makes it similar to conditioning in particular, as it can be very hard to apply yourself to 100% and regularly. And what is my way of overcoming a lack of will power to condition properly?

.... the problem is that I don't have one, I usually either just do something when I feel like it and the rest of the time slack or lose focus very quickly.

I could be desciribing my work or conditioning here.

I need to think deeper about how I apply myself... and DO more as well as thinking about DOING more.

I will see an improvement soon I'm certain, and update this when I feel I have made progress.

An interview with Jaroslav

Jaroslavs video we made when he came down to ipswich.... he may be crazy but he speaks some sense.

Conversion...

I thought I had "crossed the line" of becoming a fully commiting traceur in the summer. Apparently not....

Recently, my training has become regular, 100% focused and I train around what I feel I should be improving with the vast knowledge I am gaining. I train every day for at least half an hour - with a fully structured session that will loosen me up and take my mind off things at the very least. Movement has become my best method to let go and relax, while remaining focused and working hard at achieving my goals.

It is these factors that lead me to believe parkour has indeed become a way of life for me and the cycle of: learn, think, work hard, think, do or not do but build up to the action in a way that is pushing myself and striving for my desired action, is something that is currently within me. I have entered a pattern of thought processes which have made it a lot easier to commit and is radpidly increasing my rate of progression.

The most important factor, I feel now, is to be training regularly. With the basic knowledge that I have obtained I can spontaneously train safely and effectively, and doing this regularly makes me feel a lot more aware of my limits and my realistic boundaries. Now I have started to feel the results of being like this - stronger, more flexible, faster, more powerful, more controlled, more consistent etc. - I only have the intention of carrying on along this more dedicated journey.

Ross and I have been doing hell nights mostly on our own recently, but still doing it. We plan to make it a bit more of an occassion and hopefully start to do it in a more Urban environment in the future. I am feeling very excited about this summer as well!! :D

Oh Dear.......

Haha just kidding :D

Loosened up, relaxed but completely focused.... 2009 should bring great things. I am extremely busy at the moment and probably will get progressively busier over the next five years or so; occasionally relieved by a summer holiday. :P

In terms of body, I've been made to put on at least a stone, putting my weight up to about 9 stone 6 Ibs which is weirdly fine for training with. Strength hasn't improved a lot, I am feeling a lot more endurance and strength in my lats/shoulders and I can feel myself being supported by my shoulders and back completely when balancing on my mitts.

I have been working on flexibility quite hard for two weeks now, which has vastly improved my flexibility. I can now touch my toes again with absolute ease and my groin is a lot looser, due to splits training (not very intense splits training, I'll admit).

In terms of mind, I've never been as focused and am feeling the benefits from training, work and music.

In terms of everything else, I have in turn become more spontaneous and I'm really enjoying life as I fit a lot into my day and thinking that I've become more able in every aspect each day is becoming routine.

We have a massive jam in Ipswich coming up, with pretty much everyone I've ever trained with coming. I'm really looking forward to that and the next few months ahead in general should be full with many wonderful things happening. Then SUMMMMMEERRRR!!!!! :D:D:D

2009 - Loosening up

At the time of my last post I was very stressed and felt unhappy with what I was doing and where I was. The stress was minorly caused by work load and pressure to get things completed but the major reason was because of myself.
I had lost sight of what I wanted to do; share the love and progress in my own way, respecting others' paths and intergrating thoughts and values into my own life.
I got too caught up in specific relationships and forgot that everyone is my friend and I have to nourish those friendships for them to grow and develop over time. This attitude recently came crashing down as I had two weeks enjoying myself training and seeing friends without the worry of work or trying to please anyone. My attitude for 2009 - taking everything as it comes, working hard but relaxing hard too, remembering that situations usually occur when I create them and, most importantly, sharing the love.
Although parkour makes me forget about everything else and refreshes me, I have realised that my progression and general enjoyment in parkour is largely correlated to my happiness as a person. Parkour inspires me and I need to share that inpiration with others and let other people inspire me to push myself in training.

As I said; share the love I feel and enjoy my life as I am extremely happy with it. Blane has inpired me to let what I learn about myself and the world through training shape me as a person and to share what I know with the whole wide world. Fear is of the devil, I will not let it consume me and I will continue to be afraid but challenge my fears to be able to eventually overcome them.

Man, don't you just love parkour?!
hehe much love peoples xxxxx