Equilibrium

As the days grow incessantly darker and the year draws its finish line, I find myself tired from 2009's events, as well as challenged by the complex thought processes that have passed my way recently.
It seems that the people who perform well generally are people who are enthused to keep a balance of all their interests and duties, combined with a consistent ability to push themselves in every sense. They also seem to have a strong rationale about them, but interestingly always seem to adapt their thoughts and actions to what's deemed as "appropriate" behavior in every situation.
The particular thought processes that have been cycling round in my head are that of the questionable force of rationalisation. The ability to defeat fear, maintain a fast progression rate and adapt in both spontaneous and long term situations are controlled by it - so it appears to be an extremely relevant and productive topic to me in Parkour and in general.

I don't see how I am incapable of pushing myself to do things that others can do, yet I think that it is important to never judge your progression against someone else's. This leads me to think I'm being hypocritical and I have a contradictive nature about my belief system. But then I realise we are all like this... and, again, it's those who can balance their analytical outlook on themselves with their self belief and appraisal that seem to benefit most from life.

There are many more thoughts as specific as the one above, with the same doubts arising from them - how can we be truly balanced in every sense so that it stays balanced. I remember, though, an article on handbalancing that began with an introduction about the concepts of physical equilibrium. It noted that things like chairs or tables have a static equilibrium (an ability to stay in one position at all times because of its static centre of gravity balanced against the earth) but that living mass such as our own bodies can become out of balance very easily, therefore need to be capable of coming back into balance. Everyone wobbles in a handstand, but successful handbalancers' have gained the ability to overbalance or underbalance according to the situation they might find themselves in - maintaining a state as close to equilibrium as possible.

In the same way, then, thoughts and beliefs my be perceived to be living matter which one must build the ability to balance in any given situation, throughout the course of time. You never stop learning.
By turning those mental matters into physical visualisations, maybe it is easier to picture the state of equilibrium (or lack of it) we are in at any point. For example, when you are angry, by deciding that the anger is not productive or rational but you can't seem to dispense with it, try imagining yourself on a bar. The bar represents the well-being of your life - all your aims and things you relate to having a good life are supporting it. There is no end to the rail, only yourself in this present state of balance on it. The anger, though, has you made lapsed your co-ordination and your foot has gone slightly too far off the centre of the bar. You are therefore struggling to keep on the bar, and if you look down there is much more chance you will fall off. So I'm told, the best way to stay on the bar is by remaining focused on the bar and by slowing down and relaxing - this way you're goal still lies on the rail, and you have not given up.

My point is that I have come to realise that even though I may become confused or even agressive towards myself in the future, I know it is important to remain focused on the goals I strongly desire (the bar) and not to be distracted by anyone else's bar or the ground, as it were. The bar is my path, my superobjective, and within it lies my potential and my purpose. So it is healthy to remain constantly open-minded and keep analysing myself in every way, but it's only healthy if it's balanced out with everything else surrounding me. Only then will I be able to achieve a bloated potential as well as develop my understanding of the world and myself.

Specifically, it is not healthy to monitor my progress against others, but I must accept the desire to do so as a flaw in human nature that I must work hard to keep my values balanced with. All the other thoughts of this manner can be rationlised in the same way, if seen as the "wind" that is limitless and unpredictable, challenging my balance as I try to maintain a state of equilibirum on the bar.

Balance = the ability to hold a position without wobbling.

But everybody wobbles.

Every day is a struggle, I think that being true to yourself should be the first thought of every day. Every day brings fresh situations that should be tackled with an eternally widening wisdom. Everything is progression.

2009 has certainly been a year to remember, and I foresee 2010 as being much better.

I can't wait to find out!

xx

Lollipops

You were stronger,
You knew better,
But somehow,
You lay down for your causes, but not for YOURSELF,

Things got hard
but we weren't to part
Captivated, scewered, my heart
Then you, left me, here on, my own

Don't leave, I'd scream, and you were gone.
Forgive yourself, and you'll be in

Peace, Peace, Peace.

Daydreaming

I've hit another tough barrier to break through - this time almost purely psychological.

Work has become a lot harder recently... I should be working harder and be more organised but I'm not responding well to the pressure of it all. But when I spend all day on something that could be finished in a few hours, and rarely even finish it then... unless I spend my time doing it into the early hours of the morning.

The problem is discipline.... which I find contradictory seeing as I train parkour to become mentally strong enough to apply myself to anything I need to do.
I think that being aware of a problem is the biggest thing, and like most things, pushing through it until something clicks seems to be the answer.

I hope it clicks soon though, because I certainly do not want to be exhausting myself and using my time inefficiently for much longer... especially seeing as my grades will slip as a result of it.

Work is very important to me, I just can't see it when I'm actually thinking about applying myself to an aspect of it. This makes it similar to conditioning in particular, as it can be very hard to apply yourself to 100% and regularly. And what is my way of overcoming a lack of will power to condition properly?

.... the problem is that I don't have one, I usually either just do something when I feel like it and the rest of the time slack or lose focus very quickly.

I could be desciribing my work or conditioning here.

I need to think deeper about how I apply myself... and DO more as well as thinking about DOING more.

I will see an improvement soon I'm certain, and update this when I feel I have made progress.

An interview with Jaroslav

Jaroslavs video we made when he came down to ipswich.... he may be crazy but he speaks some sense.

Conversion...

I thought I had "crossed the line" of becoming a fully commiting traceur in the summer. Apparently not....

Recently, my training has become regular, 100% focused and I train around what I feel I should be improving with the vast knowledge I am gaining. I train every day for at least half an hour - with a fully structured session that will loosen me up and take my mind off things at the very least. Movement has become my best method to let go and relax, while remaining focused and working hard at achieving my goals.

It is these factors that lead me to believe parkour has indeed become a way of life for me and the cycle of: learn, think, work hard, think, do or not do but build up to the action in a way that is pushing myself and striving for my desired action, is something that is currently within me. I have entered a pattern of thought processes which have made it a lot easier to commit and is radpidly increasing my rate of progression.

The most important factor, I feel now, is to be training regularly. With the basic knowledge that I have obtained I can spontaneously train safely and effectively, and doing this regularly makes me feel a lot more aware of my limits and my realistic boundaries. Now I have started to feel the results of being like this - stronger, more flexible, faster, more powerful, more controlled, more consistent etc. - I only have the intention of carrying on along this more dedicated journey.

Ross and I have been doing hell nights mostly on our own recently, but still doing it. We plan to make it a bit more of an occassion and hopefully start to do it in a more Urban environment in the future. I am feeling very excited about this summer as well!! :D

Oh Dear.......

Haha just kidding :D

Loosened up, relaxed but completely focused.... 2009 should bring great things. I am extremely busy at the moment and probably will get progressively busier over the next five years or so; occasionally relieved by a summer holiday. :P

In terms of body, I've been made to put on at least a stone, putting my weight up to about 9 stone 6 Ibs which is weirdly fine for training with. Strength hasn't improved a lot, I am feeling a lot more endurance and strength in my lats/shoulders and I can feel myself being supported by my shoulders and back completely when balancing on my mitts.

I have been working on flexibility quite hard for two weeks now, which has vastly improved my flexibility. I can now touch my toes again with absolute ease and my groin is a lot looser, due to splits training (not very intense splits training, I'll admit).

In terms of mind, I've never been as focused and am feeling the benefits from training, work and music.

In terms of everything else, I have in turn become more spontaneous and I'm really enjoying life as I fit a lot into my day and thinking that I've become more able in every aspect each day is becoming routine.

We have a massive jam in Ipswich coming up, with pretty much everyone I've ever trained with coming. I'm really looking forward to that and the next few months ahead in general should be full with many wonderful things happening. Then SUMMMMMEERRRR!!!!! :D:D:D

2009 - Loosening up

At the time of my last post I was very stressed and felt unhappy with what I was doing and where I was. The stress was minorly caused by work load and pressure to get things completed but the major reason was because of myself.
I had lost sight of what I wanted to do; share the love and progress in my own way, respecting others' paths and intergrating thoughts and values into my own life.
I got too caught up in specific relationships and forgot that everyone is my friend and I have to nourish those friendships for them to grow and develop over time. This attitude recently came crashing down as I had two weeks enjoying myself training and seeing friends without the worry of work or trying to please anyone. My attitude for 2009 - taking everything as it comes, working hard but relaxing hard too, remembering that situations usually occur when I create them and, most importantly, sharing the love.
Although parkour makes me forget about everything else and refreshes me, I have realised that my progression and general enjoyment in parkour is largely correlated to my happiness as a person. Parkour inspires me and I need to share that inpiration with others and let other people inspire me to push myself in training.

As I said; share the love I feel and enjoy my life as I am extremely happy with it. Blane has inpired me to let what I learn about myself and the world through training shape me as a person and to share what I know with the whole wide world. Fear is of the devil, I will not let it consume me and I will continue to be afraid but challenge my fears to be able to eventually overcome them.

Man, don't you just love parkour?!
hehe much love peoples xxxxx

Recent Achievements

I always find it really difficult to be happy with what I'm doing. Although my goal is perfect movement and I will strive to achieve this all the time, this is a very general goal and cannot easily be applied to every day life. Due to this and the fact that I haven't been enjoying life too much recently, I've decided to make more conscious effort to be happy with myself; not to be over excited by very small achievements but to have a balance towards my feelings. It's quite a deep thought but one that I fear will crush me if it's not addressed.

I have been pleased with my recent efforts with everything; working hard, pushing myself comfortably with Parkour and pushing myself to take care of the people i care most about. I often forget to think about (or think I don't care) how I'm portraying myself. I expect reactions and give nothing for people to react to, which is an ignorant cycle.

Those who I care most about are the reason for my existence and people who make me feel valued, so it is incredibly selfish for me to not give anything back to those people.

I also have changed attitudes towards more general things, like the ability to have fun. Although going out and working hard at the discipline is fun, I've had my head down focusing for too long and on the way I feel I have lost the balance of doing practical things and things that don't necessarily have a purpose but are fun. I feel like I've lost out on more social oppurtunties with friends and family over the past few years, so I am very much looking forward to catching up.

In addition to all of this, I've decided to keep this blog filled with personal content, as although this is publisized on the internet, the only people that will read it are people that I have most in common with and my thoughts are theirs to keep.

I've also decided to be a gangsta, so blap blap 3run massive. Big up to all you peeps in the hood, much love and peace out.

xxxxxxxxxx lol

Purgatory Night

Inspired by Blane's hell night, Ross and I decided to start our own weekly conditioning programme for the winter as of tonight. Largely based on hell night, we started with a silent jog for around 5 minutes and stretched lightly before going on a larger run, lasting about 15 minutes and then continuing onto a large block of conditioning for around and hour and 15 mins. After, we had a quick jog to loosen up and then about a 250m cat walk down a straight to finish off. Then of course we stretched off thoroughly before going home.

I wasn't too sure of how reliable Blane's outcomes of this training would be, as I know he is an extremely focused individual that has disciplined himself to train as hard as he thinks possible. So I didn't think I'd benefit as much from such an evening of exercise.

But I really enjoyed it, we talked quietly and not often and I felt I had introduced myself to proper conditioning adequately. We were half figuring out what the session would involve as we went along and no doubt it will be more organised and intensified next week, but it worked out really well.

I was most impressed to find that even a quite short session made me feel completely refreshed and at one with my thoughts again. Recently, particularly this last week, I have been under increasing pressure with work in music and performing arts mostly. Amongst other things, I was just loosing touch with everything around me and was getting worried about friendship groups and one person in particular that I couldn't get off my mind. I realise that such thoughts are merely human nature and should not be fought against until exhaustion but I would not usually consider myself as someone who gets wrapped up in their own thoughts without much consideration for other people and indeed everything else around me.

I usually have a lot of ways of relieving any stress or negative thoughts I may have attained by doing things I enjoy; music and parkour. But even they could not seem to distract me from things I did not particularly want to think about. By earlier today I was feeling quite overwhelmed by deadlines and people with too much to say. That's why I really appreciated being able to go out with Ross and just doing something that took my mind off everything but the pain of a stitch and the sweat on my face. I loved it.

Well without me babbling much longer, Purgatory night was a great success and will hopefully progress into a regular occasion, possibly with more people (although it's nice to have a small feeling of solitary)

Many thanks to Ross for encouraging it and being a great friend.

I will update with details of exercises and reps soon; just in case anyone actually reads this thing!!! :)

Tuck planche to handstand.(s)

Finally.......:D


Feels great to get this after all my targets for the last year involved this :)

This video is after a few days of being able to do it. I can already see much more core strength and feel a lot stronger in my shoulders and whole body. I am also not needing to bend my arms so much as my back and core has enough strength to raise on their own a bit more.

Now to get it with straight arms or a few reps. Great success!!

Recent tings

Haven't had time to do much training recently so been starting my conditioning mania regime.

Tuck planche to handstand is looking a loooot closer at the moment; I can hold the position for about 5 seconds then bend my arms and press until I am in the handstand position but with bent arms that I can't straighten. So I need more arm and shoulder strength to press up from there or loads more core strength to be able to press with straightish arms. Feeling really confident though :D

We are definitely going to Cambridge again 22ND September. Can't wait to see how much my progression over the summer will affect what I can do there. Conditioning and coursework is now my life!!!! haha with the odd jump :P

Back to how I left off

Well I set myself the challenge today of getting backflips again and after hard conditioning and a loooot of stretching i attempted them. And got them within 10 failures where i jump slightly to the side. It was the first time I have done them since I broke my nose and am really glad I conquered it tonight.

The technique is lazy but I get round OK. And, not to make excuses, by the time I recorded this one I was knackered. But my plan is now to get them so I can do them every time first try onto cushions then progress onto hard ground. Unless of course I'm feeling mad tomorrow :D

I will upload the video onto youtube for a few days just for you Ross :) as blogger won't do anything with it. grrrrrrrr blogger grrrrrrr.

Year 10 and Winter Thoughts

Well I am trying to get myself organised for the next few months up to spring. Year 10 brings lots of hard academic work which I have to focus on over the next two years. So that's sort of priority from now on. Music will get harder and I have to work harder than I am doing now to achieve the high level of music that I want so desperately.

With parkour as well, the winter brings opportunity to condition and get my body into much better shape. Work harder on balance skills and particularly get a lot better at handbalancing. I aim to be doing tuck up to handstand after a climb up by my birthday (end of October). Flexibility will be a big part of this winter as well.

I really want to utilise my time more towards things that would help me progress; researching the body and how it works in relation to the mind and exactly how food effects what you are able to do.

Hopefully be able to go to Ipswich more frequently to train in an urban environment, making it slightly more easy to move confidently in the rain.

I have high hopes for next summer but know that no one gets to the high level I want without hard work. So bring on the winter.............. :D

Cambridge Trainingsss

9TH August we did go to Cambridge. Finally. The spots are amazing and full of different levels of things. The whole city just seems to have this great feel about it like no other I have ever been to.

It was tipping it down all day but we still got loads done and proved to ourselves that people like Phil Doyle etc. are not superhuman but just train a lot in good spots and look after themselves as much as we do. We just haven't been in good spots or doing it as long. So we are now desperate for more trips out there or at least Ipswich or Colchester. I also realised yesterday on a particularly difficult precision that I wasn't committing to with both feet how to get over something like that. I have been dropping my left foot a lot recently on precisions that are quite low and I spent about an hour on this one precision that was exactly the same. I didn't let it fustrate me to the point of not thinking straight, but instead pushed myself closer to committing all the time. Then just did it. Which felt nice :D

Now just apply it to the Wolsey precision to see if it really works.........

Many thanks to Steve and Ross for coming along. Special thanks to Ross for being a great guide and just generally making it a great day out. Steve as well of course.
Good to see Steve push himself and think about things properly and good to see Ross not get overwhelmed by the famous spots and thinking about everything the way he usually does.

Going again on the 22ND September latest. Should be hard to top yesterday; great day!

Summerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

A week into summer holiday and I feel great. Sore, but great. Ross made a training regime that takes us through the summer and I'm loving it. I'm feeling much stronger psychologically and a bit more controlled physically. The summer has this nice effect on everyone so I get a lot more freedom and everything feels like it's my own will. Cambridge has been arranged for 9TH August which should be amazing.



This is a video of recent trainings in Ipswich. Not terribly good but we hope to have at least another 2 videos by the end of the holidays to show a lot of progression in movement.

Conditioning progress

Only just realised how important being strong is - which is stupid becasue I've had 6 months to realise and do it.
I'm focusing much more on my whole body now to get my whole body up to a certain level of fitness and strength, focusing mainly on the abs and the shoulders for planches.
I just started this thing which ross has been doing for his abs and it seems to be working fast as it was followed by the longest tuck planche I've ever held. The difference now is I can repeat it instead of being so nackered that I can harldy move. Got one of them on video:

I guess this is where it all starts

Pain brings doubt. Doubt either makes something stronger, or breaks it. Pain brought doubt.

I was on the phone to my unlce and he said something that's inspired me: "one needs to push ones' limits, or one will will not progress"; he said it in the sarcastic way he usually speaks when telling me things. But the words also carried the solution to my doubt.

Backflip progress

Well it took a while to jump straight up instead of backwards, but this my best attempt at one where I leant slightly back but was pleased with the tuck and the general movement:

Backflips

Was working up for quite a while last night on backflips. Eventually, this is what they looked like:




I know I jump way too far back before I tuck and that my tuck is not tight in any way. But, I have to say, focusing on the steps of the flip really helps your mind in getting over the fear.

Recent trainings

This handstand thing is very hard for me. I am getting closer to pushing right up with straight legs. I was getting all excited the other day as I thought I could push right up, but only with the use of a kick up from bent legs. I'll get there soon.




After recording some handstands today I really was shocked to see that my arch had almost completely gone. That's good news becasue it means my upper body strength training is working.

(Again, due to blogger screwing up, there is no video)